July | 2012 | Biscuit City

Monthly Archives: July 2012

July 3, 2012 · 11:19 am

Bob Tale–Uncle Jim and the Rural Fireworks Music Show

Here’s a little Royal Fireworks Music to go along with this post. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I38Kw-oG0kE

As my college friend Bob told us stories about his Uncle Jim, the farmer in New Jersey with whom Bob stayed during the summers, he always made it clear that Uncle Jim was an excellent farmer. As with many other people who excel in a certain area, Jim occasionally allowed his natural enthusiasm to carry him into areas of endeavor for which he was ill-suited, often with disastrous results.

One such occasion was Jim’s attempt to bring a little culture to his rural town. Jim enjoyed watching PBS and he saw a program on the Son et Lumiere shows popular then at chateaux in France, featuring classical music with laser and firework light displays. Now, Jim enjoyed the annual rendition of the Christmas portions of Handel’s Messiah done by the combined choirs of the town every winter holiday season, so he started thinking about staging his own son et lumiere show around the Fourth of July. He didn’t want to compete with the town’s holiday picnic and fireworks, so he settled on July 3 and printed up some flyers. They said:

COME HEAR AND SEE!

UNCLE JIM’S HOLIDAY

BOATLOAD OF

RURAL FIREWORKS MUSIC

JULY 3, 1969

AT THE FARM

DONATIONS ACCEPTED

Jim was a generous soul who gave any money he collected to Heifer International. He believed in farming, and in helping farmers all over the world.

And so, he and Bob were off to buy what Jim termed a “boatload of fireworks.” They returned with the pickup bed full, and set about readying the display.

Jim’s plan was to imitate the royal fireworks displays in England in which the pyrotechnics were shot off from barges. Instead of a barge, he had a rowboat which he and Bob filled with fireworks, fusing them so they went off in sequence.

Bob ran some speaker wire from Jim’s Lafayette stereo system and set up speakers near the stock pond. Dot was to play Handel’s Royal Fireworks Music as the display started. Bob and Jim would row out to the fireworks in the middle of the pond, ignite the long fuse, and paddle out of harm’s way and enjoy the show along with everyone else. It would be glorious.

Jim posted some signs around town, and come the evening of July 3, there was a steady stream of cars and trucks turning into the driveway. Bob directed everyone to park in a pasture, and they all made their way to the bleachers Jim had acquired when the high school put up steel ones at the baseball field. The old wooden ones had some splinters in them, but still had plenty of use as long as no one slid along the seats. Even if that happened, Dot helped in the medical tent every summer at the county fair and had her tweezers, alcohol and bandages. She was ready.

Dark settled on the farm, and Bob and Jim rowed out to set the spark that would begin the whole show. about one hundred people sat on the bleachers in breathless anticipation. Some of them said they could hardly wait to see what disaster would ensue, but they were a cynical minority.

Bob and Jim reached the fireworks boat, and Jim lit the fuse. Before they could even put an oar in the water to get away, sparks from the fuse fell onto the fireworks, igniting some, which ignited the rest. The whole boatload went up in one tremendous column of fire with a huge explosion which woke the sleeping cattle and pigs and caused them to kick down their fences and run away in panic.

Dot saw the first glare of the explosion and started the music. Bob and Jim, blessed with quick reflexes, dove into the water and stayed under for the time it took for all the fireworks to play out, which might have been thirty seconds. They surfaced, climbed in the boat and rowed for shore, certain that everyone would want their donation back. Actually, most people thought it was all planned. They said they had never seen such a spectacular display in all their lives and that they only wished it were longer. They went home happy.

Dot was waiting for Bob and Jim with towels and a couple of observations. “Tonight proves two things, she said. “There’s no fool like an old fool, Jim, and there’s a sucker born every minute.”

Jim and Bob didn’t say a word but went in to watch PBS. Masterpiece Theater was on, and they never missed it.

Soujourn in the Eighteenth Century (without leaving town)

Colonial Williamsburg, in Virginia, is located about a two and a half hour drive from us. One of its advertising slogans is “spend a day in the eighteenth century” in the restored colonial area with reconstructed builidings and costumed historical interpreters. If you have a chance to go (it’s one of our favorite trips), be sure to catch up with the guy who portrays Thomas Jefferson. He’s great!

Anyhow, with the severe line of thunderstorms that smashed through this area Friday night, we got to visit the eighteenth century when we lost power for about twelve hours. Now, let me say that we were very fortunate with what we experienced. As of this writing (Sunday afternoon), there are still 2.4 million people without power, there have been 13 deaths, and people have suffered millions in property damage. I feel for them all and pray for relief and comfort soon for all concerned.

We didn’t have power or cell service for twelve hours, as I said, and a few branches and twigs in the yard.

I had several flashlights around the house so we used those when the lights went out. I wanted to listen to the radio, so I robbed a few flashlights of their “D” cells. Then I figured out I could listen to the glass-enclosed nerve center on WTOP-FM by going to their web site on my iPhone. Of course, I had no way to recharge the phone if the battery ran down. I don’t have a car charger to drive around to recharge it as Amy’s friend Kyle did when she lost power in a snowstorm in Massachusetts last winter.

We really didn’t have the full eighteenth century experience, if I think about it. We have city water so we had running water, and enough hot water in the gas-fired (and electrically ignited) water heater to take showers. We were careful to open and close the refrigerator and freezer quickly and hope the power wouldn’t be off long enough to thaw or spoil the food. And since we have a gas range top (with electric ignitors) we were able to light the burners with matches although we had only three of them. They were all we needed so I didn’t have to use my flint and steel or fire sticks.

Our landline phone worked throughout, so maybe we shouldn’t get rid of it after all.

The power came back on about 10 AM and we were back. Then I had to go around and reset all the line voltage clocks and timers. I tell you, sometimes technology is a curse…but one I can live with.

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