Monthly Archives: November 2012

November 30, 2012 · 1:30 pm

Poem of the Week–Inertia


Inertia

Tonight I am going
Nowhere
While
All around me
The seasons are changing
The earth is turning madly
People are rushing here and there

The leaves have fallen
Decay is setting in
I am a day, a week, a month, a year older
Babies are being born
Children going to school
Graduating
Finding jobs
Having children
Growing old together or apart
All is changed and
All is changing
But as for me
I’m just sitting here
For now
Going nowhere.

Dan Verner

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November 29, 2012 · 1:29 pm

Advice for Writers–Accursed Cursive

I broke out in a rash just seeing this again. Oh, the humanity!

I’ve had cursive writing on my list of things to write about for a couple of years, but never have seemed to be able to get around to it. 
Basically, like most guys, I never did well with cursive, lacking the fine motor skills  to produce the beautiful flowing script  found in our handwriting books.

Yes, we had Zaner-Bloser Handwriting instruction books, which our parents had to pay extra  so that we could have the privilege of being frustrated at every turn. There was even a special what we would call now ergonomic Zaner-BLoser pen (part of the package) that had a place for your fingers and an  odd point to it with a little ball near the other end. The pen was good to chew on when I got frustrated with trying to write correctly, which was most of the time.

I did very well in elementary school, but received constant “C’s” in handwriting. Like most guys, I switched to a sort of half-cursive, half printed style It looked (and looks like this): This is how my buddies and I wrote throughout high school and college, and how I write even to this day.

My  daughter Amy, who teaches fourth grade, says that cursive writing is not even on her radar. I think they teach it in third grade, and Amy writes in it so the kids will be able to read it, but she avoids inflicting that sort of anguish on her charges.  In any case, keyboard has become the new normal, and I’m even doing this on a keyboard. I’m finally able to produce the beautiful, flowing script that has eluded me for so long.  Just not with a pen and paper.
.

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November 28, 2012 · 2:35 pm

Technology Wednesday–Keeping It Simple

I got some fast food the other day for lunch, and since I had two drinks, I grabbed one of those drink carriers (pictured above). I was looking at it and thinking that sometimes the best technology is the simplest technology. The carrier is made of cardboard and molded into a form that compensates for different sized drinks. Each carrier costs 17 cents in lots of 300 (in case you want to order a bunch), although the big fast food companies probably get a price break. Somehow.

Another example of simple, effective technology is the “Disturb/Do Not Disturb” hang tag found in hotels. I’m not sure who was the first to patent this idea, but they have made a bundle off it. It’s one of those inventions that you look at it, smack yourself in the head and say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

The last simple and effective form of technology I’m thinking of is the paper book. I use ebooks, and they’re easy to carry around and easy to order new books on, but I still use paper books. They’re a proven, centuries old technology. They’re easy to mark you place, easy to take notes on in the margins and their batteries never run down. So, for now, put me down as having a foot planted firmly in the digital world and in the old school world of simple, effective technology.

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November 27, 2012 · 1:35 pm

Bob Tale–Uncle Jim and the Flying Pig

I always enjoyed breaks in college, getting to go home to relax and see friends.  I also enjoyed coming back to school after breaks, catching up on what had happened to everyone during the vacation. After one Thanksgiving break at college, my friend Bob returned with the story of Uncle Jim and the Flying Pig.  It seems that Uncle Jim had gotten engrossed in the Winter Olympics the year before, and especially in the skiing events.  As he sat watching the ski jump competition one evening, Bob heard him say, “I bet I could do that.”

Dot was in her chair reading. “You could do that and break both legs like an old fool and then I’d have to do all the work around here.” Uncle Jim didn’t say any more, but Bob could tell he was thinking about how he could learn to ski jump.

The next morning, Uncle Jim was involved in building what was obviously a ski ramp for a jump. As Bob helped him, he said to Uncle Jim, “I thought Aunt Dot said you wouldn’t be doing any ski jumping.”

“I’m not,” Uncle Jim answered.  “At least not at first. I’m going to test it out on something else.”

“Like what?” Bob asked him.

“Well,” said Uncle Jim, “I’ve been reading how those rocket fellows needed a creature to test how a living thing would stand going into space.  So they decided to use a pig. Problem was, the pig was lying down in the spacecraft on its back and pigs can’t do that.  Poor thing died of fright or something.”

“So you’re going to test your ski jump on a pig.”

“That’s right. And instead of snow, which we don’t have, you and I are going to build one of those big air cushions like stunt men land on. The landing’s the hard part anyhow.”

Bob said he just shook his head. He and Uncle Jim finished the ramp, which was maybe 25 feet high, and then sprayed water on it so it would ice over. Then they took two big vinyl tarpaulins and glued and stapled them around the edges.  When they stuck an air hose from a compressor in one of the seams, the homemade air cushion inflated but lost enough air that they knew it would give with the impact of the pig.

Bob did some skiing around the farm when there was snow, so he let Uncle Jim have his skis.  Uncle Jim made up four trotter holders for one of the pigs from an old harness and fastened them to the skis. Uncle Jim, like most farmers had an affection for animals and would not mistreat them, although he was willing to make them into bacon or ground beef or chicken nuggets when the time came.

Uncle Jim wanted to be sure that the air cushion worked, so he and Bob hauled a hay bale up to the top of the ramp and sent it down.  The bale flew off the end of the ramp, bounced once on the air cushion and then came to rest in the middle. The jump was ready.

Persuading a pig to the top of a ramp is one thing; fitting its hooves into the holders on the skis was another, but finally they succeeded. “Should we have a countdown?” asked Bob.

“Nah,” said Uncle Jim. “Just let her go.” They gave the pig a shove and she skied straight down the ramp for a few feet, squealing the whole time. Then, struggling to free herself, she turned sideways and started to roll.  

The skis flew off on the first rotation and soon the pig was rolling rapidly down the ramp. She flew off the end, rotating like a sideways forward pass. She hit the air cushion, bounced high in the air, came down on all fours and ran off the cushion and across the fields.

“Wow,” said Bob.  “When pigs fly.”

The pig came back after a day or so, but she wouldn’t come near Bob or Uncle Jim. Dot had to feed her. 

As usual, Dot didn’t say anything about the incident, but at breakfast the next morning, Jim’s bacon came flying over from the stove onto his plate.  “What was that?” he asked Dot, who had been the pitcher on her fast-pitch high school softball team and still had a strong, accurate arm.

“Oh, just a little flying pig, since you like them so much,” Dot answered.  And that was the end of it.

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November 26, 2012 · 1:55 pm

Wax Paper and Sandwich Bags

You’d think that with the advent of plastic film wraps (after World War II–it was originally called “eonite” after an indestructible material in the Little Orphan Annie comic strip and then was a greasy dark green  that the military sprayed on fighter planes to protect them from water and corrosion damage) wax paper (so-called because it consists of paper with a wax coating–I just love the simplicity of the name) would have gone the way of the dodo, but not so fast there, Sunny Jim! Wax paper is alive and well
Wax paper had its origins in antiquity as oiled parchment which was used by butchers to wrap meat. It was also used as a translucent material for windows since glass was so expensive. A method for applying purified paraffin to paper about 1876.
I remember my mom wrapping my lunch sandwiches in wax paper , which were then put into a paper lunch bag. Very biodegradable. The ZipLoc bag came along in about 1968, and I packed my own sandwiches (I am a terrible sandwich maker, even with decades of practice) in them. Bit of family lore here: when Amy was young, she heard “Zip Loc” as “Loc Boc,” so to this day we called them “loc boc bags.”
The point is (and I do have one) wax paper continues to have its uses. Here’s an article with 14 uses for wax paper: http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/02/19/home-economy-14-uses-for-wax-paper/ We also use it to cover food in the microwave so it doesn’t splatter, to slide furniture and to put on Nacho the Cat’s tray for her food since she is a senior cat and finds it harder to eat from a bowl there days.
I’m sure you have your own stories of wax paper, and I hope you’ll share them with me. And for me, for now, that’s a…wait for it…wrap!

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November 23, 2012 · 10:45 pm

Technology Wednesday–Keep It Simple

I got some fast food the other day for lunch, and since I had two drinks, I grabbed one of those drink carriers (pictured above). I was looking at it and thinking that sometimes the best technology is the simplest technology. The carrier is made of cardboard and molded into a form that compensates for different sized drinks. Each carrier costs 17 cents in lots of 300 (in case you want to order a bunch), although the big fast food companies probably get a price break. Somehow.

Another example of simple, effective technology is the “Disturb/Do Not Disturb” hang tag found in hotels. I’m not sure who was the first to patent this idea, but they have made a bundle off it. It’s one of those inventions that you look at it, smack yourself in the head and say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

The last simple and effective form of technology I’m thinking of is the paper book. I use ebooks, and they’re easy to carry around and easy to order new books on, but I still use paper books. They’re a proven, centuries old technology. They’re easy to mark you place, easy to take notes on in the margins and their batteries never run down. So, for now, put me down as having a foot planted firmly in the digital world and in the old school world of simple, effective technology.

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November 21, 2012 · 1:55 pm

Technology Wednesday–Rambler Gambler

Ease up there, readers, the title to this post came from a song that Ian Tyson (of Ian and Sylvia) used to do called “Rambler Gambler.” The first verse went

             I’m a rambler, I’m a gambler
             I’m a long way from my home.
             If you people don’t like me
             You’d best leave me alone.

Uplifting and personable, I know, but really I couldn’t identify less with the song, being neither a rambler (too much of a homebody) nor a gambler (too cheap). But I was thinking about the Rambler, a car produced first by Nash Motors division of the Nash-Kelvinator Company (yes, they made refrigerators as well) from 1950-1954, after which it was made by the merger company of Nash-Kelvinator and the Hudson Motor Company, which was called American Motors or AMC. This Rambler was produced during 1955. AMC revived it for 1958, although I recall seeing them through the early ’60’s. There was, as the ad above shows, a ’63 Rambler.

The wagon was touted as a family car, with a fold flat front seat suitable for camping in the car. The feature caused somewhat of a scandal since someone, somewhere, some time, might fold down the seat and have sex. I remember sermons were preached about it, and that’s what might have killed off the Rambler. Too hot to handle apparently.

In today’s cars, the front seats recline, but they don’t fold flat. Maybe automakers learned a lesson from the Rambler wagon. In surveys, though, car owners have consistently said that cup holders are more important to them in a car than reclining seats. I for one don’t know what to make of this. Maybe you do.

Notice: we here at the Biscuit City Studios are going to take a Thanksgiving break to spend time with our families. Look for the next post Monday, November 26. Have a glorious holiday!

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November 20, 2012 · 4:26 pm

Biscuit City Chronicle–Turkeys for Thanksgiving and Shining Sickles

I like Thanksgiving. It’s one of the last holidays unsullied by greed, commercialism and the card companies (although they are making inroads, I see). I even enjoyed the special Thanksgiving school lunch when I taught, maybe because I usually ended up with about ten minutes to choke down a sandwich most days. I made a special effort to make it to the cafeteria for the meal and choked it down in ten minutes. I was rhapsodizing about the lunch to one of my classes when a student did a quick reality check. “Hey,” he said. “It’s still a school lunch.” Well, it was, but it just cost a couple of bucks, and I didn’t have to fix it. With our Thanksgiving meal, since we have excellent cooks in the family, I’m allowed to make the iced tea, even though I can cook under ordinary circumstances. Everyone has a signature dish that she brings. Our daughter Amy, for example, brings the green bean casserole (GBC). There’s a rumor that we might have Twinkies for dessert this year, but I hope that’s only a rumor. The pies done by my sister-in-law Sue are to die for. And Becky makes real mashed potatoes by peeling them and boiling and then mashing them. (There’s a little recipe with your Biscuit this morning.)

I have fond memories of Thanksgiving when I was in elementary school, although they are fragmentary. In sixth grade, our class presented the Thanksgiving play. Maybe because I was in the elite Bluebirds Reading Group, I was pickled to play the role of Father in our deathless production of Turkeys for Thanksgiving, which was an indication of the quality of the play and of the acting. It marked my drama debut—and swan song. The play (in case you never get to see it, if you’re lucky) followed the misadventures of a benighted family who managed to buy four turkeys, all unbeknownst to each other until the finally scene, in which they had a good laugh and actually sat down to eat all four of the birds.

Although I delivered my lines flawlessly and engaged in broad farcical mugging required by the part, the whole enterprise made me nervous, and sucking on my father’s unlit pipe when I held in my mouth as a prop made me sick at intermission. I resolved while throwing up to abandon then and there my nascent acting career and return to my dream of being a bush pilot. At least bush pilots died heroically, plunging to the frozen tundra in a ball of fire, not by losing their lunch over an elementary school toilet.

Another clear memory I have of Thanksgiving was a song we used to sing called, I believe, “Swing the Shining Sickle.” We sang it complete with illustrative motions:

            Swing the shining sickle, cut the rip’ning grain.
            Flash it in the sunlight, swing it once again.
            Tie the golden grain-heads into shining sheaves,
            Beautiful their colors as the autumn leaves.
We had no idea what a sickle was, and now the thought of thirty fourth graders swinging shining sickles makes me blanche. We lived the song, though, because we had no earthly idea how hard it was to cut anything with a sickle. Now, I had occasion to cut one of my appendages rather than any rip’ning grain. Maybe as a future  English major, I liked words like “rip’ning” and “o’er” and the rather forced meter  of the song.  Maybe I liked being able to move around in the classroom. I asked my wife, who is a walking compendium of children’s song if she had ever heard the song after I sang it for her, complete with motions. She allowed as how she had never heard it, but I was vindicated when we had dinner some years later with two of her piano teachers, who of course, knew hundreds if not thousands of children’s songs. I asked them if they had ever heard of “Swing the Shining Sickle,” and they both started singing it! Triumph!
A couple of years later I found a copy of the Silver-Burdett song book we used, Music Now and Long Ago, and there it was, on page 149. I’ve put it at the head of this post in case you’d like to sing it at your holiday gathering. You can come up with some good motions for it, I’m sure.
And so, I wish all of you out there in Biscuit City a happy and thankful Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for, including elementary school Thanksgiving plays and Thanksgiving songs. Enjoy!

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November 19, 2012 · 1:17 pm

A Loss for the Community

I was stricken to learn the the Manassas News and Messenger  will cease publication, including the online InsideNova.com, as of the end of the year. My wife remembers when the paper was weekly, then a semi-weekly, and then a week daily and finally a daily. It carried all the news of the community.

We all know that electronic publications have been making inroads on print publications, but this leaves us with a local source of news unless we do want to go online, which I have no problem doing. But there are thousands of people who prefer a print publication, and they will be left out unless they learn to use the internet, which many of them don’t want to. The News and Messenger had recently cut back to five issues a week, and I suppose the handwriting was on the wall.

I feel for the 33 staff members who are being let go. They have been helpful to the organizations I am afiliated with. People like Keith Walker and Katherine Gotthardt have done yeoman service for years. Some, like Susan Svihilik, Alex Granados, Bennie Scarton and Jonathan Hunley had left already, and they were wonderful newspaper people and human beings. Susan Svihilik got me to write a weekly column for the paper, which I did for about three years, and that really got me into writing again. Thanks, Susan.

I have been writing a column for the Observer papers since last February, and people on the staff of that paper received a heartfelt and articulate email from Randi Reid, the editor and publisher of the papers.  She says it so well:

Today is a very sad day for the newspaper industry in Prince William County.

The News and Messenger announced today that it will cease publication Dec. 30
and will shut down its website, Inside Nova.com at the same time.

The Journal Messenger was more than 100 years old and the Potomac News had
been around for more than 40 years before the two publications merged a few years
go. Some of you know I was with the Journal Messenger for 16.5 years.

Thirty-three people will lose their jobs.

A valued local news source will be lost.

The solver of small local issues  and the promoter of solutions to community problems will be gone.

An engine that helped make the local economy work will be stilled.

And a champion of protecting the public’s right to know and freedom of speech will be silent.

Indeed.

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November 16, 2012 · 12:45 pm

Poem of the Week–"Ghosts"

Ghosts

I have decided that I
Believe in ghosts
And particularly in ghosts of soldiers.
Not three miles from here
Soldiers fought twice
And some say
Their ghosts inhabit the ground
Where they fought and died.
And there are ghosts in the family:
A Revolutionary War captain of the Virginia Militia
A member of the Georgia Militia during the Civil War
My grandfather who registered for the draft
For the Great War and did not serve
My uncle who fought in Korea
These inhabit the back rooms of
My mind.

And I
I am the ghost that you can’t see
Without service
Without presence
Invisible.

–Dan Verner

(For more poems about ghosts on Manassas Battlefield, see Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt’s Poems from the Battlefield, available on Amazon.com at
http://www.amazon.com/Poems-Battlefield-Katherine-Mercurio-Gotthardt/dp/1439254486/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1352587633&sr=8-3&keywords=katherine+mercurio+gotthardt

Katherine’s finely rendered series of poems is both touching and haunting. )

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