Monthly Archives: October 2012

The jack in this case is a literal jack, not the figurative one in the title. I’m feeling kind of post-ironic, which is why I’m writing about car jacks. They’re part of technology (so is a stick, for that matter) and I’m a little tired of digital technology this evening, having spent the better part of the day trying to get my formerly reliable laser printer to recognize that, yes, it was connected to a computer, without any success. Truly a first world problem.

Anyhow, I was coming out of Staples last week when a nice fellow told me my right rear tire was nearly flat. I suppose the classic take on that would be to go around and look at it, but I couldn’t see why he would be making that up, so I drove the mile or so home to change it. The car, my Mazda 6 wagon, Misty 6, didn’t feel like it had a flat–you know, that thump thump thump that warns you something is amiss with your voiture.

So I got out in front of my house, and the helpful fellow was telling the truth. The tire was flat. It wouldn’t even register on the tire gauge. Now, we had had AAA for about a gazillion years and used it a few times but I had come to believe that we didn’t need it since we don’t drive that far. (Helpful hint: you can get a roadside assistance plan from your cell carrier for far far less.) And it always seemed it took the nice AAA people an hour to come fix the problem, which they were very good at.  I didn’t have an hour since I am, like most people I know, overscheduled, so I opened the hatch and took out the spare which I was hoping was a real spare but it was a doughnut, one of the most disgusting things ever created. It does the job but it looks darned stupid doing it. Having to put it on negated the man point I had accumulated by changing my own tire. I know, it saves weight and money (the car manufacturers’ money), but I don’t have to like it.

I unfastened the poor excuse for a lug wrench–it even had a pivoting head so you could make a complete circle with it when taking off the lug nuts. If it didn’t snap off, since it was made metal the next step up from tin foil. I loosened the lug nuts and then went to look for the jack, which was secreted in one of the several and mysterious compartments in the cargo bay. I couldn’t find it. I thought I was stuck and then I figured the jack in my other car, the Chevy Impala,which goes by the name of the Gray Ghost, might work and be sturdier to boot.

So, I looked in the boot of the Ghost and found it readily underneath the full-size spare and soon had the wagon jacked up and the flat off, ignoring the warning on the Chevy’s jack to only use it with the vehicle it was intended for. Don’t tell me what to do! Probably the warning was put there by OSHA. I exercised my right to ignore perfectly sensible advice.

I put on the doughnut, threw the flat in the back and hied myself to the friendly tire repair place we have used for years. The flat had a nail in it. The fellow who took the orders at the tire place had told me on an earlier trip there to have a tire plugged that when business was good more people had to have nail holes patched in their tires since there were more construction trucks about strewing nails all over the public roadways.

My tire was patched and remounted in about 20 minutes. I could have put it back on myself and gained another  man point, but I was tired from all the excitement.

I did whatever it was I had to do, and as I pulled up in front of the house, I thought about looking in the owner’s manual for the location of the jack. It was in a thoroughly concealed secret compartment I couldn’t even tell was there. And so I lost another man point for reading the directions..

Final score, for those who are keeping score:

On the plus side–+1 for removing the tire and putting on the spare
                           +1 for ignoring the warning on the jack.

for a total of         +2 points so far,

but

deduct one point for not remounting it  -1
and one point for using a doughnut       -1
and one point for looking in the owner’s manual -1

So the total man score for the afternoon was -1, which is the score I pretty much carry. I suppose I could pretend it’s my golf score, but I know nothing about keeping score in golf, which is another deduction, so that gives me -2. I’d better quit while I’m ahead, which is the best advice I could give myself (and ignore).

The past couple of days have been like a big snowstorm without the snow. No shoveling required.

The start of the day featured light rain and breezes. I went over to visit my dad at his assisted living place and got some bread. Surprisingly, there was plenty at the local Food Dog. Bottled water, too. Many places are wiped out of these items.

I did some editing and writing and read a bit in my book, Stephen King’s 11/22/63. Impelling book. I’m about 1/4 of the way through and it’s well done.

The wind and rain continued to pick up during the day. Right now (about 5:30 PM) the strength of both continue to be noticeable. The wind and rain are supposed to be at their worst from about 8 PM this evening until about 2 or 3 AM this morning.

I’ll blog more later.

9 AM Tuesday

The high winds did pick up about 8 last night, but when we went to bed about midnight, I wasn’t aware of them. I think they were running about 50 mph and then calmed down.

This morning we have light breezes and a little rain. Areas to the north were impacted far more than we. THe pictures of Manhattan are incredible. Our thoughts and prayers are with all those affected.

Everything’s closed today. We can get out fine, but I’m feeling the need of a day to regroup. Hope everyone is well. I’ll be back to the usual nonsense tomorrow.

Take care.

Well, it has been an eventful week here in Northern Virginia. It’s Sunday evening, about 8 PM, and about four days ago the media outlets have been talking about the possibility of a combination hurricane/tropical story named Sandy and a nor-eastern resulting in a massive storm system the Weather Bureau is calling Frankenstorm. It is about 650 miles wide and potentially will affect 60 million people.

The media have themselves all in a lather, which attracts viewers and readers and listeners, and they are all urging people to “prepare” for the storm, which is readily done, unlike the derecho we experienced in June. Because of that experience, during which we lost power for twelve hours, I stocked up on batteries and an emergency radio. We keep a lot of food and water around, so we should be in good shape.

This is a kind of strange experience, akin to awaiting a big coastal snow storm, but without the snow. At least we won’t have to clear that away. Fairfax County Public Schools, where I taught, canceled classes for Monday and Tuesday this afternoon. That’s highly unusual, and makes me think they know more than we do.

So, we’re “hunkering down” (interesting phrase–I wondered where it came from and I found it’s of Scottish origin. Here’s a link to a good explanation of the origin: http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-hun1.htm ) and waiting to see what happens. I’ll update this tomorrow morning when the wind and the rain are expected to arrive.

Monday morning, 7 AM: We have some rain and some wind, but the worst of both is not expected to arrive until this evening. Stay safe, be well, and call when you get there. As Tiny Tim said, “God bless us every one!”

Last I was meeting with a couple of writers from our local writing group, Write by the Rails (website: http://writebytherails.blogspot.com/), as we were working on edits for our projected anthology. Suddenly (which is how this sort of thing usually happens) we started talking about the Oxford comma and how each of us favored it as a means of punctuating items in a series.

In case you haven’t heard of the Oxford comma, you probably have been using it. In a series of items, if a comma is placed before the “and,” it is called “an Oxford comma” (or domestically, “a Harvard comma” or if you prefer, “a serial comma”).

Recent usage has eliminated the final comma, which can result in ambiguities such as:

I’d like to thank my parents, John Donne and God.

Probably John Donne and God are not your parents. The Oxford comma clarifies this bit of confusion:

I’d like to thank my parents, John Donne, and God.

There’s a good article on the subject at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma, with many more examples and enough ambiguity to confuse anyone.

We editors and writers like the Oxford comma, although using it is a matter of assuring clarity and economy. That’s why I say you’re on your own. Look at the meaning of the series and do whatever it takes to make it clear.

I tend to favor it because I worked every grammar exercise in the Warriner’s series for six long years and they of course liked the serial comma long before it had the name of Oxford. Still, we want to keep up with the times. But we also want to be clear. Good luck to you and be careful out there!

My dad, who is 87, had his pacemaker replaced last week in an outpatient procedure that took about 40 minutes, with about an hour’s recovery time. The other pacemaker had stopped working–its battery ran out and consequently his energy level and circulation were not what they would have been had the pacer been working.

He had had the old device for about nine years, which struck me as a fairly long time for a battery to last. Of course, what it’s doing is providing an electrical impulse at regular intervals which on the face of it, while important, would not seem to cause that much drain on a battery. (As usual, I don’t know much about my subject, but I do know those ain’t Energizer AA cells in the device.) I found out that pacemakers use lithium iodine batteries and they are expected to lose 10% of their power after about five years. Not too shabby. I’m glad for pacemakers and glad that they have such long lasting batteries.

I was thinking about batteries and their power and longevity when my iPhone upgraded itself to a new operating system. With the upgrade,  suddenly the battery wouldn’t last all day even though I used it about the same amount. I have had to take to carrying the charging cord around with me and plugging it in wherever I am in the late afternoon, sponging off someone else’s 120 volt outlet if I’m away from home. Taking more battery power is not my idea of an upgrade, and I’ve talked to several other iPhone owners who have experienced the same thing. What’s with that, I want to know.

Then I thought about electric cars. My friend and prolific writer and community activist Cindy Brookshire knows a fellow in town who is all about electric cars. I want to interview him when I have time because I don’t know much about them other than hybrids seem to be practical at this point in their development while an all-electric doesn’t really cut it in terms of our expectations for our cars. Sure, I drive less than thirty miles most days, but suppose I take a wild hair and decide to drive to Atlanta for some reason. With my mighty Impala, it’s not problem as long as I have a credit card for gas. I fill it up and keep on going. With some pure electrics, you’d have to stop every thirty miles and charge the pack for a couple hours. That would extend a trip, all right.

I understand there are batteries for pure electric cars under development with a range of 500 miles and a charging time of a few minutes. Now that’s what I’m talking about, even if it does leave the problem of a charger infrastructure. Early automobile users bought gas from drug stores, and it would take us quite a while to come up with enough charging stations for everyone. And do you think the oil companies would like that? Not very much, I think.

I know very little about everything I’ve written about in this post, so I hope some folks who are more informed will comment and correct an errors or misapprehensions I’ve had. I’d appreciate it. In fact, I’d get a big charge out of it!

That seems about like what we’ve fallen into with all manner of pumpkin-flavored products being popular this fall. There is the usual pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread. But there are also pumpkin-flavored potato chips, beer, coffees, bagels, cream cheese, biscotti, dog treats, nonfat Greek yogurt, pancakes, English muffins, Pop-Tarts, waffles, tea, salsa, pasta, sausage, chocolate, marshmallows, and air fresheners. I am not making any of this up, and I know the list is accurate because I got it off the internet.

Now, I think all this is a bit of pumpkin-flavored overkill. Chocolate versions of these products, maybe. But it’s too much pumpkin. I’ll stick with a slice of pumpkin bread and a piece of pumpkin pie, thanks. And a nice Jack-o-lantern to put on the front porch.

But the Great Pumpkin has come into his own. Linus must be pleased.

I am folding some clothes, some things that did not need to be removed immediately from the dryer to avoid wrinkles.

After sitting in the basket for half an hour, they are still warm, and I can’t help it:

My mind flashes to Juliet’s line in the tomb when she discovers Romeo dead and kisses him,

Trying to get a taste of the poison that killed him, but darn the luck, there’s not enough to be fatal.

She wails, “Thy lips are still warm.” She just misses the death train but wait, there’s the “friendly dagger.”

So, dagger, do thy work, and so they roll off into history. I hope they were happy but I think they were just dead.

Me, I’m older and I’m folding warm laundry, but as of this moment, with neither poison nor dagger nor dead lover at hand,  I’m still alive and warm.

At least for now.


–Dan Verner