A number of people have said that I should make my whining on Facebook about misplacing my writer’s notebook into a post, so here it is. I’ve just used first names to protect the privacy of my friends who appear in this little playlet, and you know who you are. You’re all funny, intelligent, good-looking and most definitely above average. Thanks for being my FB friends.
The Most Lamentable Tragedy and Pitiable Storie of the Missing Notebook
(A play from divers sources, including the Book of the Face)
Dan: FB Account Owner and Writer of Incidental Observations. Forgetful.
Norm: A meteorologist who is both witty and intelligent.
Alyssa: Daughter of Dan, HR Specialist. Witty and intelligent.
Barb: Dan’s former English student. Witty and intelligent.
Sheila: Family friend forever. Witty and intelligent. Recently published a book, Once a Goddess (http://www.amazon.com/Once-Goddess-Sheila-R-Lamb/dp/098385520X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323692554&sr=8-1) Buy one. Read it. Now. You’ll thank me later.
Kim: Exceptionally talented songwriter and pianist. Recently published a Christmas anthem, “Love Beyond All Loves.” Buy it for your choir. Now. If you don’t have a choir to sing it, get one.Witty and intelligent.
Amy: Daughter of Dan, fourth grade teacher extraordinaire with many beautiful and intelligent colleagues. Witty and intelligent and a dynamite piano player..
Mary M.: Former colleague of Dan, former Poet Laureate of Alexandria. Witty and intelligent. Whole family is crazy smart.
Mary Kay: Former colleague of Dan, library and book person. Witty and intelligent.
Susan: Dan’s former editor. They don’t make newspaper people like this any more. Knows where the bodies are buried. Witty and intelligent.
Gwyneth: R.N. extraordinaire who sings like an angel. Witty and intelligent.
Brad:Long time friend, teacher and movie buff. Witty and intelligent.
Dan: I can’t find my little notebook where I write down ideas for writing. I have about 200 of them in the notebook and I will never be able to write anything ever again if I can’t find it. Or I will have to rely on what Alyssa calls “squirrelly scraps of paper” that litter my desk and that the car knocks off in the middle of the night to get me to feed her. Life can be so complicated sometimes. :^)
Norm: So complicated that your car is driving across your desk in the middle of the night and you have to feed it? I’m gonna guess that’s a typo and you’re referring to the cat 😉
Alyssa: No, in addition to the cat, he has a small gray car that also requires frequent feeding.
Dan: I mean Nacho the cat. Although the gray Mazda could very well drive across the desk. Anyhow, the mystery deepens. I also can’t find my Kindle. I suspect the Kindle and the writers’ notebook have run off to West Virginia to be married. They’re both underage and too young to do such a thing. They would have little electronic books based on the ideas in the notebook. (BTW I think “writer’s notebook” is a pretentious phrase. It’s just a notebook with stuff in it.) (But irreplaceable stuff.) O, the humanity.
Barb: Heh heh, I’m SO sorry about your notebook, but I spat out a bit of vino laughing at the car typo. The visual was just too funny. :D… this could be one of your stories!!! 😀
Dan: I’m going to use it. Maybe that will make the notebook come home. Or the car. Or the cat.
Sheila: Stephen King says that the good ideas will come back to you – he doesn’t believe in a writers notebook. I disagree but then I’m not Stephen King 🙂
Kim: I hope you find it. I hate losing good ideas because I’m always afraid I’ll never have another one.
MaryKay: Love this story line already! But they will both turn up again – even if somehow they did manage to get married. Keep us posted.
Dan: @Kim: I have the same fear. It’s common to creative types, I hear. @Sheila: Thank goodness you’re not Stephen King. @MK: I will let everyone know!
Dan: I just spotted the Kindle, which is where I put it so I could find it and not tossed on a table somewhere. So it didn’t run off with my notebook. That’s still missing. I have a substitute notebook with “Keep Calm and Carry On” (from a propaganda poster from World War II) and a British flag as a background. Unfortunately it is blank but I can add ideas from about 20 squirrely scraps of paper and two I wrote on my hand because I didn’t have a squirrelly scrap available.
Alyssa: Down with squirrelly scraps!
Amy: Check under your bed.
Mary: It’s the cleaning lady. Always the cleaning ladies around here. They delight in placing things just where you won’t think to look for them. (Also, I weigh in in favor of a notebook. I have little Moleskin (ewww) notebooks–multicolored, yet–to write down anything that crosses my mind–a bizarre assortment indeed–and have often used them later.) Also, I’ll share my squirrely bits of paper if you like.
Alyssa: Mary, I went to France and brought back Herbs de Provence for my dad. He labeled them “drugs.” Then the cleaning lady found them and took them to my mom. Hilarity ensued.
Mary: Were they in one of those cute little pastel mesh bags? In other words, ‘designer’ drugs? I can only imagine the scene…
Alyssa: Even better–they were in a plastic bag!
Dan: I recall they were in baggies which I carried in my puffy coat when I hung with my homes, you.
Dan: “Yo,” not “you.”
Dan: @Amy: I’ve looked under one bed and there are books there, but not my notebook. @Mary: that’s a possibility that the cleaning ladies took it and are using it to write great stuff and become rich and famous. As if. I used to carry a little Moleskine notebook in my pocket it after a while it looked like a wad of napkins. The inside of my pants pocket is a rough neighborhood, apparently and I have pictures to prove it.
Susan: You can write about the search for your notebook!
Dan: @Susan: I filled up the reporter’s notebook you gave me. I think I can reconstruct the new ideas in the old black notebook from squirrely scraps of paper but I like to look over the old ideas and see which ones were truly sorry. I’m probably going to a two notebook system, the Rule Britannia notebook for blogs and I have a very effete-looking “Shakespeare Journal” for ideas for a weekly devotional I do for out choir. I will have to make a blog out of this but I think I’ll give it a week to see if the original notebook turns up. Thank goodness I saved the squirrely scraps.
Here’s the “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster:
Gwyneth: I’m sorry you lost your old one, don’t give up hope!
Brad: I like that image. We all need to be reminded to stay calm and carry on. Easier said than done, however.
Deborah: Your new notebook helps you grieve the loss of your old one with its stoic advice.
Mary: I recently saw a poster like that but it said, “Keep Calm and Eat Bacon”
Dan: @ Gwyneth: I’m still looking! @Brad: Indeed. @Deborah: It does at that. Thanks. @Mary G: I LOVE bacon. It comes from a wonderful magical animal. My daughter Amy loves it more than I do.
Beth: Did you find your notebook?
Dan: Not yet…Still looking. The thing is it’s about 6 inches by three inches and black so there are so many dark places it can hide. I’m going to do a blog about it. Thanks for asking. I will probably stumble on its dessicated carcass in some obscure place months from now. Not to be too dramatic about it, of course. :^)
Dan: O happy day! I looked through the pile of squirrelly scraps that lived under the lost notebook and the ideas are all there except for the ones I wrote directly into the notebook (about 10% of the total)! I’ll take a picture of said scraps and put it in a blog post to be written later this week! I think this is called “accidental (and incidental) backup by sloth alone.