You expect me to pick up these things with my paws? Are you crazy?
The cats are having an Easter egg hunt,
And, as usual, they’re not happy about it.
They don’t have fingers after all—
They have paws
Which you would know
If you were paying attention
Which you’re not,
So listen up!
Have you ever tried to pick up
An egg without fingers?
It’s frustrating and
Darn near impossible,
So the cats call on their people
To help them
But the humans are not interested—
They don’t like eggs and they’d
Rather eat steak and sleep most of the day.
The cats are sorry they ever picked out
Their human from the human store
And wonder if they can take them back.
Anyhow, the cats still have the problem of
Hiding the eggs
Which they finally do by
Kicking them with their hind legs
But they’re too strong
And the egg shells shatter
And the cats are left with a big mess to
Clean up.
They don’t like eggs either
So they leave the shells and yolks and whites
Where they are
For the birds to scavenge.
But then they have an idea
They do like birds, so
They lie in wait,
Hiding themselves like the eggs
They couldn’t hide before
And when the birds show up,
They pounce!
But they’re fat and slow
From not going to the cat gym
Although it is a benefit of their jobs
At Catco Inc. and, sitting on their recliners
Watching Born Free and The Lion King
Over and over again. They don’t catch
Any birds at all so they slump home,
Climb on the couch and watch
The Incredible Journey on
The Cat Family Network
And think if they ever had to
Travel thousands of miles
To get back home
They wouldn’t do it.
They’d just start all over again
In an ideal town with hard-working humans
And, best of all, no Easter egg hunts.
Dan Verner
March 25, 2016
Biscuit City 