The Cats Are Going on Spring Break



Cats at the Beach

Wait. That’s not entirely true.

Not all the cats are going on spring break,

Only the student cats who are

Going to go off to where it’s warm

And they can drink themselves

Silly on milk and

Chase mice and

Parade around without clothes

(But no one seems to notice)

And shred the cushions

In the motel room.

Yes, that’s what the student cats do

While the parent cats

Stay home and go to work

Each day and think about their

“Vacation” where they take their

Cat phones to the beach

So they can answer emails

Because it’s part of their job.

It’s also hard to press the screen

With their pads, and they have

To try again and again and usually

Have to get their human (who came with them—

They don’t have enough sense to be

Left at him) answer the emails

For them. The cats also worry about

What kind of trouble their

Kittens have gotten into

And don’t sleep for waiting

On the phone call from the police dogs

Telling them that their little cats are

In jail and they can bail them out

If they want to.

The parent cats don’t want to

But fear being the subject of gossip

At the office,

Fear being thought a bad parent

Even though the student cats have been bad.

It’s not fair, this being responsible and adult,

And it just makes the parent cats angry,

Which is how they stay most of the time anyhow,

So probably the student cats figure

They might as well go to the beach

And have what passes for a good time

While they still can.



April 13, 2017

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