Opening a New Book for the First Time
When I was in elementary school,
On our first visit as a class to the library
Each year,
The librarian showed us how to
Open a new book for the first time.
There was a method to it,
But I don’t know why we had to see it
Every year.
I at least remembered all the details
But
Strangely enough
No one objected to it.
It was the Age of Conformity
After all. Something different came later.
“Look,” the librarian said (every year).
“Carefully take the new book and stand it on end.
Now select about one-tenth of the pages,
Put the book back on its spine and
Carefully run your hand down the page
Close to the spine. Repeat this until you have
Done all the pages in this manner. Now you may
Open the book and begin reading.”
What a relief, I thought. Now we can go to recess,
But the librarian asked,
“Are there any questions?”
Naturally, Abigail Shaw raised her hand.
I hated Abigail Shaw, as did most of the boys
In the class. She always wore a fancy dress to school
And sat up front and always got good grades.
She regarded the boys in the class as savages
And she wasn’t too far wrong.
Anyhow, she said, “Would you show us that
Again, Miss Parsons? I want to make sure
I understand it.”
I could see doing this the first couple of years,
But she asked this every single year!
I felt like biting my desk, but that was exactly
The sort of savage behavior Abigail frowned upon.
So we sat there, hearing about something
We knew already, watching the precious minutes
Of recess tick away while Abigail Shaw made sure
Everyone knew what a good and careful person she was.
Somewhere along the line, books reformed themselves
And no longer had to open in a special way.
And I add that to my collection of useless skills
Like threading a classroom projector or running a
Mimeograph machine or using a slide rule.
I don’t know what happened to Abigail
(I know she did survive elementary school)
But I suppose enduring all this opening new book business
Was worth it after all:
It allowed me to read
And that has turned out to be better than
Recess.
Dan Verner
April 2, 2019
Biscuit City 